List for magic dr
dirty old sink
ketchup carpet
giant horse
no crying!
portrait of a pregnant lady
old sticky
velvet couch
digital recording
dried-out chocolate lipbalm
extra stick-on moustaches
p.s.
dry ice smoke
sparkle sparkle..
ammonia costume basket
dead millipede
I’m sorry
toe splinter
gravel dust squeaks
she’s the grandma slug
one Mississippi
dirty cold floor
cheesecake
pistachio-colour walls
batteries for Playstation controller
baby beluga
Dairy queen hamburger
One Hundred Shark Facts
spiders in my shoes
hiding spot
Alan Rickman back tattoo
dead pet fish
you can talk through the vents
grape soda
penny candy
the lamp fell and shattered
sit. roll over.

Sourmilk

I’m scared like I’m ten years old passing an underwear store
“You could quit trying to suck yourself off”
-- Or I’m just too hungry to think
And my mom wouldn’t tell me what to do
“I think it’s ‘cause you left too late. Maybe five minutes, I mean,”
-- But there’s nothing she could’ve told you that you don’t already know
You’re removed but like, not enough to do anything -- “About it?”
“About your stupid fucking haircut”
, I know it’s not that long but she’s an asshole about that kinda thing
Well, yeah, but I think that’s fair
She wasn’t even talking to me. He said “she was, for sure”
“It makes you sound disingenuous”
Meanwhile you’ve been angry about nothing in particular
“It’s ‘cause you don’t talk to anyone -- save for that goddamn wise-guy therapist”
You need to make a goddamn friend
“Or help one fucking person”
Or get rid of the sour milk in your fridge
I just don’t get it. You haven’t even started to try
But you told me that the other day, you said,
“Don’t come over, my apartment smells like shit”
I think that was like over five weeks ago
“Don’t come over Lindsay, I mean it this time”
I’m not wrong about this
“I know that”
-- It changes every time I look
I am trying, you know. I mean, when I go on the bus,
I have a hard time, it’s hard for me
That’s all I heard you say
“You have to go -- buy more rice”
I’m running away again (not to the store)
I think it’s more important that you hear my voice when I tell you this
And I’d listen if you didn’t breathe like such a pervert

It only took me a day to bring your body back home.
And at some point around four I stopped resenting you for it.
‘Cause the back of your mom’s pickup made you shake like you did after you told a good joke.
But I hadn’t heard you tell any for a while before you left.
You’d come to replace it with a different kinda shake that happened when no one was talking at all.
[...]

I really need to start writing again but I think I'm just scared. I'm going to try to write in here more often. I've kept a lot of ediaries in the past and every time I end up getting really embarrassed about them so I'm planning on only using this for actual writing and not just posting whatever every couple of minutes like I usually do. I don't think I have anything to say right now but maybe I'll be back soon... We'll see...

20251110_09.34
It's hard to know how much to share. Especially with art and writing. I go back and forth between thinking that it's good exposure therapy and that it takes away some sort of private personal significance. And also I'm plagued by embarrassment. I think that's all.

This webpage displays entirely works of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.